#.Memories . ]]` [x] Mysterious ; CrimsonRoses

As The petals of Crimson Roses Fall on Monday, March 31, 2008, 3/31/2008 11:55:00 PM

Updates!
Here reporting on what happen on the tiring Sunday of march 31th (:

Yen took them during the rehearsal hha, thanks (:
more photos will be uploaded after meix or someone else who have it to send to me (:
I have too much to say but lazy to type.Anyway, our concert is a success.

The last concert.The last experience.My last year. During the first song, we walked out of the stage. the 1st item, the prayer, i was singing the song, concentrating on ms Yee who was conducting and many things flow into my head. I told myself to remember the moment that i was on stage, singing, audiences watching, and me enjoying myself. And i remember the scene well, i was enjoying myself, absorbing every sound around me, the sopranos, altos and bass. Feeling the heat of the spotlight and the stage was shining.I have never felt so damn relax on the stage like yesterday, no sign of palm sweating (duh~). The melody just flow like that and float around the hall like flying birds.

Normally after a concert, i remember the experience i had but always forgot the scene where i am standing the the stage, spotlights shining on me.All i could remember is that i was singing , focusing on the conductress and the song finish within seconds.and walk off and bye bye.

I like how the spotlight shines when we were combining with the Chinese orchestra(CO). Directly in front of me, was the CO conductor, and when the lights shine by his side, it just look like and feels like it was a grand concert, and a super grand one.

And at the dressing room, i took this with cheeryl meix' sis valerie

She look like some anime girl can, super kawaii LOL

The concert ends pretty fast , cos i'm performing and i felt that way.
We had encore, our class cheered and shouted "Weijian , we love you", sunghee also shouted the name of me and yl.

My foot was aching yesterday and we took photos and this and that.Lunch was so-so and dinner looks nice but did not eat cos very full XD.
Reach home around 9+ with YL.

Here, i wanna thank the following people:

Yen, Xh, jovi and chen li - Makeup artists
Maria - for lots of things
Soehan and junyi, kevin also - Photographers
All my juniors and the co peeps for making this concert a success (:
Xh, desmond, sunghee, phone, weihao, wen, gabriel, jerome, cindy,kevin, cheeryl mei, choir seniors, and many others who have attended the concert, spending their time coming down to support us (:

Today?

The class make fun of wj today, yl called him sexy =x
Many people told me that we have done a good job for the concert and ask me what time i reach home and blah blahs.

Have been tired recently, wanting more afternoon naps.Watch air gear and just completed all 25 +1 Episodes, and it makes me wanna go to yl house and play Jet Set radio with roller blading. My fav character of Air Gear?

Agito /Akito Wanijima, a boy with split personality. And i like the way Agito the F word.
Agito is more cool, while Akito is cute (:

Both Agito and akito (:

And yeah, Agito said it.

Fang king of bloody road

That's all for the day, gonna sleep (:
Byee peeps (:

GRACE SINGS LALALA~

Labels: Last performing experience in my secondary days

As The petals of Crimson Roses Fall on Saturday, March 29, 2008, 3/29/2008 08:40:00 PM

Today was kinda great, went to ACJC funfair.Is super duper crowded.Saw bel and her classmates. It was kinda cool and i kinda hope that our school have it too and make it look like Japanese school's festival. And have haunted house and takoyaki stalls XD then cosplay and stuff like that XD
Bought 3 Chinese comic and 1 novel called train man(books again =x) at the kino in town.

Got this from outside WA :

This was mine

and these were YL's.She got a red and pink one and she was swinging it...She was laughing away while swinging it.

We were in the MRT just now while listening to yl's ipod, then we pretended to use the flowers as mikes. so childish XD

13 more hours to go school!
20 more hours to the concert!
my friends are coming! XD

Cheers (:
Let it be sucess (:

AS THE SUN SETS, THE SKY BECOMES DARKER,
TEARS CAME ROLLING DOWN HER CHEEKS,
IN HER MIND, SHE ASK HERSELF,

"WILL THINGS DISAPPEAR AS QUICK AS THIS?"

As The petals of Crimson Roses Fall on Friday, March 28, 2008, 3/28/2008 09:48:00 PM

I got my super super SHUANG3 afternoon nap today for like 3 hours, i have been waiting for weeks for it since i do not get enough sleep for due to busy school days (+ anime watching =x).
woke up and glued to the computer XD

-2 More days! or 40+ hours more to the concert! (YAY!)
-our effort will not be wasted, a positive point of view (duh~)
-Its gonna be fun but is unpredictable.
-This is dunno my ???th performance, so nervousness is not there...
-My friends watching the concert XD
-Blood Brothers , i am in page 125 (and ongoing!)
-Fail math test (as if i pass b4 like that)
-gonna go bel's sch's fun fair tomorrow
-thinking of going town for books (argh! i cant take it any longer, just give me my books !)
-I wish my brain juice is as much as i have in sec 2 *Kaboom*
-Updated class blog XD

-I love anime (i always do)
-Darker than Black OVA is out! but not subbed, so sad XD
-There will be Clannad ~After Story~ arc, The sequal XD
-I love Allen walker,Lavi , Hibari , Tsunayoshi, Hitsugaya Toushiro and Lelouch! (Anime Fangirls screaming!)
-I love my imeem anime playlist XD

-I wanna get Katekyoshi Hitman Reborn's Vongola Rings!
-I wanna Get Hitsugaya Alarm Clock!
-I wanna get Kyou Kara Maou! Music CD
-i wanna get anime illustrates XD
-i wanna get la corda d'oro, Tsukimori Len's Character album XD

-if there's an exam on anime otaku and stuff like that, i would rather take it.
-if there's a thing called exam for choir, i would take it too XD.(better than O lvl ma)

Pardon me for the childish post, cos i feel like it.
You don't understand? too bad XP

LOOKING AT HER OWN HANDS, SHE KNEW THAT SHE WAS SOMEHOW FIXED.
BUT THAT DOES NOT CHANGE THE FACT THE SHE WAS ONCE A BROKEN DOLL.
FEELING A LITTLE WEAK, SHE STOOD UP, LOOKING AT THE WOODEN DOOR IN FRONT OF HER.
THE DOOR CREAK AS IT SLOWLY OPENS. LIGHT STARTS TO FILL THE ROOM.

SHE SAW WHAT WAS IN FRONT OF HER.
SHE RUNS UP, TOWARDS THE HILL.
AS SHE REACHES THE TOP, SHE FELT HAPPY INSIDE.

LOOKING AT THE SUNSET, SHE SMELT THE SEA , HEAR THE WAVES AND THE SOUND OF SEAGULLS , AND FEEL EVENING THE BREEZE.REALIZING THAT SHE WAS ENJOYING THAT MOMENT , SHE WHISPERED.

"SO, SHALL I START FINDING MY TRUE SELF?'

-GRACE

As The petals of Crimson Roses Fall on Wednesday, March 26, 2008, 3/26/2008 08:25:00 PM

This is the 170th post X.X

Nice Earthquake (:
All the mint and Lime Sherbet XD

Katekyoshi Hitman reborn Poster XD
Sunghee and i were screaming like dunno what when we saw this at wm's cc.

Bleach: Heat the Soul 4 ! Toushiro and rukia (:

Things are getting better today, maths is still not any better, i'm too supid. I start to love laces recently, yl say is goth. Sunday is the concert! i cant wait, my friends who bought the tickets are coming! My Last concert for the year =X

-I Update the class blog (:
-I finish buying the things like pins for the concert.
-I am busy with lots of things!
-Looking forward to ACJC's Funfair on sat (:
-I want new books, even though blood brothers by nora robert was halfway done
-But Blood brother is super nice (even when i haven reach the end)
-This week is gonna be crazy for me

There she laid, like a broken doll
The smile that's shown, will it last?

As The petals of Crimson Roses Fall on Sunday, March 23, 2008, 3/23/2008 07:37:00 PM

-Have not Study for test
-Haven finish homework
-FN not complete
-Tomorrow have school
-I hope i can help mei, she's struggling...
-No one was tagging my board
-I'm a horrid and insane girl
-I give insane answers
-I hate the way stupid things happen
-I wanted so much to scream
-The cold war is still on

バカヤロ！ホントのじぶん
bakayaro!honto no jibun

THERE SHE LAID, LIKE A BROKEN DOLL

As The petals of Crimson Roses Fall on Saturday, March 22, 2008, 3/22/2008 08:58:00 PM

Still haven talk to her, having cold war now, who cares, life goes on, i dun wanna talk to her anyway.

I realize that only in choir, i can feel relax, i can enjoy music, smile my way through as though nothing happen yesterday.Choir release us late today, drag till 2 and head off to jp to lunch with sheryl, shunyu and melina today, chat a lot and ending up leaving that LUNCH place around 4 plus.

Concert is next sunday, i cant wait XD, i think i wont be here without them, i wonder how would life be without choir, without performance....

Thought of something yesterday night, i wonder what will happen after our graduation, where everyone goes on their own journey, to reach out for their own dreams they long for, the sound of laughter will be lost forever, i wonder if there will be a class gathering in a few years, i do not know where i will head to, the world is too big for me, i cannot figure out my own dream, my own ambition, i wonder if people will remember me, I'm afraid i will lost every precious things around me after graduation. And all the things that are lost aren't temporary like footprints on the sand, it stay as memories in our mind...

Thanks to the people who gave me advises, i will try to figure things out myself.
My lost true self, it shall reveal one day.

I CRY BECAUSE I AM AFRAID, BECAUSE ONCES I AWAKEN, EVERYTHING AROUND ME DISAPPEARS. THE FEAR OF THE HEART IS INDEED HORRYFYING.

AFFECTING ONE'S HEART AND SOUL....

As The petals of Crimson Roses Fall on Friday, March 21, 2008, 3/21/2008 08:27:00 PM

Today went out with XH and SH, went to cineleisure , Actually plan to watch Sky of Love but the tickets were sold out, then consider to watch The Orphanage but end up watching The Spiderwick Chronicles.

It's quite nice, if you love fiction stories/novels with magic, advantage and fantasy ( something like that), you will love fantasy-like movies like that.
In the movie, the theatre gave us this:

Nvm, we finish the movie any way, i just like it, never watch movie at cineleisure b4 so i think the seat is v comfortable.LOL

Then we took Neo , and there YL and sunghee did this:

If you wonder about the last pic, sunghee was imitating pan's labyrinth( the Faun i guess)

Reach home around 7.30pm...mum nagged and said somethings like upset me a lot, good thing she just went out, i was fuming just now and now also.I just wish i can run up a hill, reach the peak and start screaming. Is all about the stupid money, i know is very important, can buy lots and lots of things, RIGHT?
WTH RUIN MY MOOD and makes my blood boil when i think of it.

DO you know Mum said "No money then don't go out lar, stupid"

That STUPID word she said disappoint me lots.

Then i cried and complain to dad a lot and din say much.But i complain lots and lots of things.

I dun ask for a lot of things you know, i dun give a damn care even when i'm not showered with lots of LOVE ,Now i don't give a damn care to many things.HOME is like a place to shelter, sleep, eat, use com.i have so much things I'm disappointed in that i dun dare to say as i will break down.

what she expect, no money sit at home and ROT ?

Plus Today is a holiday and there is no school.

I am not a trapped person, i have not seen the big world out there yet, at this age, there is a limit to my freedom but at least i should have some of it and yet I'm like a bird trapped in a cage. I don't even get to to far places and forever I'm stuck at these few places.People ask "Have you been here before?" My answer is always "NO"
Now i start hanging out with my friends at orchard, buy my books cos i like it and i dun care if she nags or what ever.I dun care if she think buying books/novels and comics are useless, i like it, so what, is there a wrong for buying things like that?

Because i am not that brave, a coward, I don't slit my wrist and Emo and get depression , i don't run away from home and attempt suicide, when i go out, i don't go home after 8pm, i don't make trouble for my parents.I don't rebel, i don't ask for a lot of money (unless i really dun have money), and i dun ask for ridiculous things.

Sometimes i wonder if people thinks about the things they have done and why they do that.

I think about why i think this way , i think about why people think about things in another way.

why some people think and there's no logic in it( sometimes what they think are wrong some more) and yet thinks that they are right.

I wonder if some people think like the way i think.

Like why i seem to be the main character in my own life.

Sometimes i think about what i think.

I think about things so into details and so deeply that i go scared of myself.

I think about weather people are always conscious of what they do.

I wonder why i seem to be very silly every time and act in stupid ways.

I wonder about why i think i am silly .

I wonder if people thinks that i am being silly every time.

I think about too much things.

Sometimes I pretend as if nothing happen , I felt that i am always always alone, maybe that is why i sometimes seek for attention a lot.Why in the world things are like that, is this something that i must go through? Why can't i bravely express that trapped feeling? Why the things i love come and go so fast? Is there a problem with me? I wish i can fall into the world of my imagination, the unrealistic dream of mine....

Here i am , telling something to make me feel better *sigh*

Labels: Trapped and Lost

As The petals of Crimson Roses Fall on Thursday, March 20, 2008, 3/20/2008 10:01:00 PM

Grace's here to blog today (: Jus updated class Blog (:
Tomorrow is good Friday (:
No School =|
Can sleep till late late (:
Gonna go out tomorrow (:
Blood Brothers by Nora Robert is quite nice but i'm at the 1/4 of the book (:
Bridging of Melodies concert on 30th march (:
Performing for certain songs (:
My last performance in my secondary school Life ):
I Didn't get to perform in the best theatre in Singapore =x
Chemistry Test was tough today =x
Public Speaking was kinda bored =x
Choir was so-so today, Angela laugh like crazy with Yinglin with their craziest imagination =D
No more things to say XD

I Love the Evening Breeze, I Love that Vast Blue Sky which is Limitless, I love Beautiful Sunsets.

Oh ya, i love Hitsugaya Toushiro kun too XD

As The petals of Crimson Roses Fall on Wednesday, March 19, 2008, 3/19/2008 08:29:00 PM

I will be like so dead this spring 08, O levels is coming and yet i'm still waiting and muggling for anime, i play, i sing and i watch anime....and of all things, 8 anime i wanna watch i coming next month XD.

-Code Geass R2
-Nabari no ou
-Special A
-Vampire Knight
-Kyou Kara maou Season 3
-Neo Angelique
-XXXholic:Kai
-monochrome Factor(Maybe)

All of them is the must watch and yet coming next month, i dunno wanna watch after O lvl which is like November? ahh, so long T-T

Hai, Liling ar Liling si liao ah si liao

Still stuck at FN pg 6, haven revise E math and Chem test....
I'm like stuck in hol mood still ==

As The petals of Crimson Roses Fall on Sunday, March 16, 2008, 3/16/2008 02:37:00 PM

NO!!!! *SCREAM*

Last day of Hols *SCREAM*

Is too fast mann, way too fast, haven finish much homework, rather blog here than to rot wit my homework....Stress piling up due to this stupid bloody computer, kana virus.Trojan somemore...

Me to the com : "@%&#&@%!"

Ahh!!Super fed up.

YC Kor called just now, i guess i really need to reformat the comp but not this time, i cannot risk my FN disappearing and i cannot survive without my computer *ahem* abit clearer is without anime but of course need to let it take a break when i have my Os and Exams...But super ma fan, i think i gonna get someone to fix it during june hols or something.

"@%&#&@%!"-Grace feel like throwing the com to the wall...

Now i'm still browsing through...

Newtype of this month XD Yes i do not know how to read jap but super minor like 0.0001%
But i bought it mainly due to the cover, is lelouch and c.c from code geass! Carn wait for the second season in april XD many updates inside too esp for the upcoming anime this april (:

Went to Swensens with bel and yl on fri

Hello Merry Mint (:
We chat a little and went home (:

I din revise science and math, haix, die die die ==

Labels: NONONO *SCREAM*

As The petals of Crimson Roses Fall on Thursday, March 13, 2008, 3/13/2008 09:50:00 PM

*sigh*
Holiday pass way too fast, did not complete anything useful till day except completing geog and that's all.I'm the worst Girl mann...Things happen suddenly, it doesn't matter if it's very happening or not but today was definitely not the day, have choir prac from 10am to 5pm. Bought so many fiction and comic books but haven read anyone of them yet, it felt as if buy for fun...
Gonna meet bel n Yl for lunch , too bad lala could not tag along , too hardworking XD (but she may change her mind).
I felt so funny, everytime YC kor online and ask how was today and i'll reply with a word, 'BORING' but i did not do it today...

She was there and yet she wasn't...
Like a withering flower losing all her petals...
Losing everything like as if it can't be retrieve back...

As The petals of Crimson Roses Fall on Saturday, March 08, 2008, 3/08/2008 07:21:00 PM

Just got back my results for the term on thurs,quite okkay, just that i feel that i can do better cos the results have our class test and other components inside..
Yesterday had cross country at jap garden, din run much of cos, then went to suntec after that (:

That's sung hee , xh and me walking to the starting point of the run (:

and here we walk into nature

Super bo liao and took this, the morning of japanese garden (:

Took pics wtih yl, jovi and xh, cos i nothing to do XD

and sunghee too (: , that's her fingers

The tribe: 5N1 boys + Gabriel.
Sacrifice: Zhenke
Purpose: For fun , LOL

After the event, took Mrt to CH and walk to suntec, bought one lolita lace socks and regretted a little, cos is short, below my knee.

Sunghee drew hitsugaya kun on my hand XD

And went to otaku hse and bought this , kawaii hitsugaya XD

That's all for the day, v lazy to type XD

As The petals of Crimson Roses Fall on Thursday, March 06, 2008, 3/06/2008 11:04:00 PM

Haiz, march holiday came so quickly, and yet it does not seem like a holiday to me, have to do many things.Sat,Tues and Thurs have choir, Mon have physic practical, Wednesday have ss, then have to go ken's house for Geography, then gonna go kino to shop for books, schedule myself to complete FN's DC by the end of hols and is like 5-7 more pages to go, watch anime if i can manage to find the time(like duh, din watch like will die =X), then revise all my maths if i can to catch up, restudy science from the beginning cos i fail for this term, Do English vocab and brochure, and the stupid chinese homework which i cannot be bothered to to cos it seem to be ridiculously too much(as if we only have her homework for the hols like that). Aiming for lesser than 18 points for my next terms' exam.So many things to do yet i seemed to be delaying each and everyone of them =X

Tomorrow's cross country, gonna wear class tee, then meet up then go Jap garden.I won't run(you think i will?) mayb a little, just a little.Just now went downstairs with yl to buy snacks so tomorrow won't get bored and hungry.A little addicted to strawberries, i bought strawberry candies, Pocky stocks and hello panda =D
My right lung still aching, dunno what happen, is like something blocking there, or my sleeping posture got prob, stupid, so uncomfortable and i cannot drink water properly and cannot sing properly in choir today, sia la, like lung bursting like that.

also going Suntec tomolo,going otaku hse, gonna go see my goth goth loli loli (not reaaly larh) , think weather to sell that goth lolita devil dress, only wear once, some more quite ex, dunno got anyone wanna buy also, din go for cosplay event much, aiyo so ma fan.Later i might also regret selling it and things like that.haiyo, so vexed XD

suddenly remember the stupid CIP ytd, dun wanna talk abt it.

Sometimes things are wonderful as it is, and things happens unexpectantly , If things remain and never change...

As The petals of Crimson Roses Fall on Monday, March 03, 2008, 3/03/2008 07:44:00 PM

Is it just because i think too much or what, but this question bring back too much fears from years back....
I have been asking this question on my mind so long that i cannot help but feel scared when it comes back to me , then i started to feel very very uncomfortable and i will need to find something to divert to or someone to talk to or i might break down and cry, then i will feel like screaming, i will feel like i will break and go crazy at any minutes.
i will ask thinking..."Where will we go after we die?"
This question came about because i was told that when we die, we will become nothing, and if we believe in Christ, he will lead us to god and then my imagination will go very wild then i will....i will think of many many things then i will dunno what to do, become lost and dunno what to believe and my mind starts to feel like it is tearing apart.Like a coward, i'm afraid, i'm lost , i wish someone would tell me the truth, but i'm afraid of hearing the truth too, i dunno wad this will lead to, someone please calm my soul....

I'm afraid of that light, is too bright for me to bear, i dunno what is out there, out in the world where light beams....

As The petals of Crimson Roses Fall on Sunday, March 02, 2008, 3/02/2008 09:07:00 PM

Did not sleep well this week end, it felt as if something wanted me to have just a light sleep.Awaken by a stupid bag that falls from the shelf this morning, nearly hit my face, Stupid.
Bulging on chocolates today, yl came over this afternoon to pass me chocolates , starting on my 80% cacao too. It was nice, bitter and not sweet.
Doing the 4th page of my research, still lagging a lot from my planned schedule.Keep running away from it, either try to avoid it by finding manga to read or anime to watch.Haiz, I'm such a lazy bum.
There will be another X country prac again during P.E lesson on wed i guess, i'm gonna my my record long by running/walking for more than 31 minutes =x
Now loading Piano no Mori(the piano forest) at CR, watching it soon.Plan to watch long ago but not much time.
Need to catch up on my maths also, i leave it aside for too long, better get started soon.

Is her nature to be icy cold a one time and to be burning hot at another.
Soar high, through the wind and into the sky.
That element ain't water But pure Fire and Darkness.

As The petals of Crimson Roses Fall on Saturday, March 01, 2008, 3/01/2008 09:23:00 PM

Konban wa. Just came back from church and now updating on what i have been doing.Did cooking for Fn yesterday.Took more than 2 hours.

Yesterday yl and i went to suntec convention center for the career seminal.Before that, went to eat at a hongkong cafe.

This is YL (:

and this is my hot milk tea (:
At the seminal, yl and i took lots of brochures on studying in university for diploma's and what kind of course and which country and blah blah blah.Went to Otaku's house at suntec and bought a D.Gray Man Allen walker's pouch to put my PSP (: yl bought DGM Tiki's pouch for her DS (: hope to go there again, yl insist me on cosplaying leenale XD

Today went to wm with yl and meet up with xh and des to go church of Singapore.Actually i went cos des ask the 3 of us, meaning me, yl and xh to go.The place was quite nice, it was kinda fun.We were having games with the rest of his cell group members(if i am not wrong) which are guys before service.These boys are quite funny and childish also . LOL.
I'm ken's disciple and he talk to me about Christ and what is between us and god and many other things like being Christian and blah blahs.As i'm quite confused about things like this ken told me that he's sure that i will my a reason for believing in Christ.And i have not think of converting to a Christian yet as i am still in a confused state.But he let me understand things that i am unsure of (:

Service was quite interesting and they play songs which i think are quite nice.the people there sing along with the band which is playing the songs.At a moment i felt like crying , the reason i am unsure but maybe is because i feel touched by how they sing together and sing to God.They are also very enthu.service was quite fun and interesting but maybe when i really start to believe in him , service might be even more enjoyable.I find some verse quite meaningful too.

Planning to go home by bus but in the end i took a taxi home, cos mum was nagging on me on the phone.Did not tell her that i went to church as i do not know if my mum and would approve but they did not say anything.(i dunno if dad knows) but i know mum was worried as the Singapore most wanted man might have escape to Bt Timah that's why she was making such a big fuss about it. But i took Taxi home in the end.The taxi fee so expensive.=X Sorry if i make any of you peeps think i'm a little ma fan.>< Today i feel like i was quite socialize at the church cos normally i will try to fully reject total participation =x. Not long ago, i was wondering if this would change my concept of my own life.

Again she's lost, still stuck in an unbeknown place.How she wish someone would reach out a hand, hold her tight and never let go.But she cannot remember the feeling of being loved.

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Her Grace ♦

Liling/Grace/Tsubaki.
Oct 6.At her Mysterious 18
` Graduated from BBSS & ChoirUsed to be my cca (:
`Currently in SP,Information Technology
`[Cannot live without Music/Anime]
♥ Pink; Black; White :)
♥Fiction books(unrealistic kinds) ♥ Classical/Jap Music ♥ Animation :)
♥ Is all about Her Unrealistism!

The Wants♦

#1 Lots of Money to spend :)
#2 ~~PSP SLIM(Pink)~~
#3 Freedom
#4 ~~Tennis Racket~~
#5 ~~change my Hp~~
#6 ~~Red Spectacles~~
#7 ~~laptop and MP4~~
#8 Watch a classical music concert.
#9 ~~A headset~~
#10 More Novels + Manga!
#11 English Antique Teacup set (:
#12 Lolita Goth Dress
#14 Cosplay (:
#15 ~~KuroShitsuji's PhantomHive Pocketwatch~~
#16 ~~Digital camera(:~~
#17 ~~Wallet (:~~
#18 Choral performance-BBSS Alumni

The Voices♦

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The times♦

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